Emily Filloramo is a Be More Extraordinary MAGICIAN and the author of the book How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk So You Can Be Extraordinary. Emily works with game-changers to unleash their true greatness and quantum leap their lives through coaching them to permanently erase negative self-talk, fears and insecurities.
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Worst Entrepreneur Moment
- Emily spent significant $$, time and energy only to be shot down in person at a conference. The next 24 hours were the worst of her Entrepreneurial life… till she met up with some friends who shifted her mindset in a POWERFUL way!
Entrepreneur AH-HA Moment
- A random meet up in a random city led to a solid book deal – overnight!
What has you FIRED up?
- Gamechangernetwork.com: Connecting entrepreneurial visionaries, pioneers, and game changers with top new economy experts and global leaders who’ve been there.
- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Best Business Book
- How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk by Emily Filloramo
Emily Filloramo: Of course, I am, John.
Emily Filloramo: I'm excited to ignite with you.
John: Emily is a Be More Extraordinary Magician and the author of the book How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary. Emily works with game-changers to unleash their true greatness and quantum leap their lives through coaching them permanently to erase negative self-talk, fears, and insecurities. Emily, take a minute. Fill in some gaps in that intro and give us just a little glimpse of your personal life.
Emily Filloramo: Great. Well, I was in pharmaceutical sales for 27 years, and so I was awakened from that corporate coma with the gift of that pink slip back on October 2011. And so after five months of not materializing another job, I jumped into entrepreneurship with both feet, just taking huge financial risks, especially with joining two five-figure masterminds.
I believed all along that success was gonna happen no matter what, and that was it. On my part, there was hardly any negative self-talk, fears, or insecurities, and so what happened was, after 18 months of taking inspired action, you know, just encountering many of the hiccups, rejections, and failures that we all encounter, I was rewarded with discovering my soul's calling and discovering my zone of genius as a Be More Extraordinary Magician.
And so being in an alignment with my deepest purpose and passion has manifested magic, including landing a book deal in 20 minutes through talking to a total stranger in New York City and also manifesting the ideal strategy alliance partner. And so basically, my wild and crazy journey is an illustration of what's possible for you when you show up as the highest energy of your best self, devoid of any of that imposter syndrome or negative self-talk and insecurities.
And so I'm really on a mission to share one of the most powerful, cutting edge, evidence-based modalities of healing and personal development. And this modality is called Internal Family Systems, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, and this modality really goes deeper than any other self-help or big guru programs that you've ever embarked on. And this methodology truly permanently rewires your programming and polishes up the diamond of your real self because it is possible to get fully unleashed in all areas of your life and become that fearless man or the woman that you've always dreamed of becoming so that you could finally live to your destiny.
And here's the bonus with this Internal Family Systems modality of healing: It has the power to fix just about every area of your life that you're not happy with, including the health, wealth, and areas of your relationship. And if you wanna learn more details about this, you could read it in my book How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary, or you could go to my website at www.bemoreextraordinary.com. And what I'm gonna be doing is giving Fire Nation a free download of the steps to permanently remove negative self-talk at www.bemoreextraordinary.com/fire.
John: Fire – we love that, Emily, on every way, shape, and form. And listen, we're gonna talk a little bit, right now, about your and the journey you've been on. I mean because I love when you're talking about the "zone of genius." I love that you're talking about the "imposter syndrome." I mean these are all the things that we focus on, as well.
I mean you drop that little nugget about being in the middle of a city talking to a stranger, landing a book deal. I mean we're gonna try to get to that, as well. That sounds like a pretty interesting story.
Emily Filloramo: Yes.
John: But first and foremost, Emily, I wanna talk about how you generate revenue today because we're entrepreneurs. We're small business owners. We are Fire Nation, and we're looking to build viable businesses, so we'd like to learn from people like yourself who have created just that. So what are the ways that you, Emily, create revenue today?
Emily Filloramo: Through one-on-one coaching, and I'm in the process of scaling, developing the virtual programs and the experiential retreats, where I'm gonna be able to serve more people at a time. So that's coming in the very near future.
John: Now, I wanna talk about your journey, Emily, and specifically within that journey, I wanna get down to what you consider the worst entrepreneurial moment because we all know the ups. We all know that we, as entrepreneurs, have downs, but we don't always talk about those negatives, about the tough times, about the roughshod moments as much as we should. So I love starting here. So you, Emily, take us, Fire Nation, to your worst entrepreneurial moments, and tell us that story.
Emily Filloramo: So this story is an illustration of the breakdown that you go through in order to get your breakthrough, and so this is also a lesson about do not serve the masses. Serve only your tribe, and be an inch wide and a mild deep in your niche.
So at the end of 2014, I was presented with an opportunity to coach an executive team member that works for a very well-known personal development figure, and she had been working on herself for years, but there were still habits and beliefs that didn't have her be as productive and creative as she could've been. So I helped her to dig even deeper than she's ever done, and she was able to identify and just get rid of the deep-seated limiting believes that prevented her from breaking through to the next ceiling of her already-successful career.
And so after experiencing how powerful this coaching was, I was offered the opportunity to work my magic with this guru's clientele. And so naturally, I was so excited because this was my big break and to jump to the next level. And so to finalize the deal, I was asked to go to California in May of 2015 to spend a week with this guru's team and to work her live event, spending $1,500.00 in my own money and travel and lodging.
And so on the third day of working the live event, I said something innocuous to an attendee that was interpreted in the wrong way, and this got back to the guru, and they decided that the proposed collaboration was not gonna happen. So I went numb, and I laid in bed for a few hours. My energy went from a ten to one.
I went across the street to Whole Foods to get some lunch, and I ran into three friends who were playing hooky from this conference. They noticed how bad I looked and asked me, "What the heck happen to you Emily?" I broke down in tears and just told them.
You see, the night before, when I saw these three friends at the cocktail reception, I let them in on the secret I was about to sign a contract, and they just said the obligatory, "Oh, congratulations." And so now, at Whole Foods, they tell me what they were really thinking the night before.
So they said, "Emily, after you told us, last night, about the opportunity you were about to embark on, we went back to our room and gossiped about your for an hour. We kept saying, 'Why is Emily doing this? This is not her tribe. This is a mismatch. She is not supposed to be serving the shadows of another expert. She's about to become a guru in her own right. She's trained in a very powerful transformational modality, and she has the stage presence and the speaking abilities to go really big. She doesn't need to be a subcontractor under somebody else's brand.'"
And, oh my gosh, John, at that moment, I realized that the presence of these friends at Whole Foods during a very dark moment on my entrepreneurial journey was purposely orchestrated by a higher power. So we all looked at each other and realized why they were supposed to play hooky on this day to support me right after this rejection, and I also realized that the universe – again, here's the universe again doing its magic – purposely orchestrated my verbal slip-up so that I could be denied this opportunity that I was so excited about.
So my depressed tears turned into happy tears. I was so happy that I spent the $1,500.00 to get clear on who I was supposed to serve, and that is success and purpose-driven game-changers, people just like me who resonate with my vibe. And this guru's tribe is not my tribe, and the message was loud and clear that I needed to spend my time energy with the other strategic alliance opportunities that I had come my way.
I was starting to have conversations with Martin Fox, a friend that I met in one of my masterminds, and Martin is an award-winning new economy leadership expert who has transformed industries. And he's improved ten million lives, and generated over $10 billion in incremental revenue.
And so Martin was read to launch www.gamechangernetwork.com to take it to the next level of global change, and that is through connecting the entrepreneurial game-changers with leading new economy experts so that they could save the wasted time – a lot of wasted time, money, and mistakes. He believed that my expertise as a transformational magician would be the perfect complement to his skill sets as a hyper-growth leadership expert.
John: So, Emily, I'm gonna stop you here because there's a lot that you just shared with Fire Nation, and I kinda wanna make sure we don't go too long without really identifying some of the key parts because this section of the EO Fire interview is about your worst entrepreneurial moment, and you had that moment.
I mean you were curled up in the fetal position. You were crying. You were just wondering what you were doing. You spent all this money. You had traveled so far. You had lost all of your confidence. You had lost that fire that was burning inside you, and that's so sad, Fire Nation, but guess what. It's also a reality.
We are going to have those crushing moments. We are going to have those defeats. We are gonna have those times we're just like, "Man, I just don't feel like I'm in the right place." And guess what; maybe you're not, and Emily's is a great story and a great example of how she went to her friends.
She went to her peers, you know, a mastermind of sorts, and she shared with them what she was struggling with. And they said, "Well, hey, this is another way to look at it." You're looking at it in just one way that you're seeing a dead end. What about a pivot? What about an adjustment? What about shifting to a new direction about what might light that spark, light that fire again in Fire Nation. Emily burst into flames, figuratively, and has been off to the races every since.
So that's my one big take away, Fire Nation, that I want you to get from Emily's story, and I really want you to understand that every, every dark storm cloud has that silver lining. You just have to make sure that you focus on that, and, Emily, I'm gonna give you one sentence. Share with Fire Nation – one sentence – what do you really want us to get from your worst entrepreneurial moment?
Emily Filloramo: When you take massive action, you're gonna get clarity through your hiccups and your rejections.
John: Massive action, Fire Nation.
Emily Filloramo: Yes.
John: Massive action. So, Emily, we're gonna shift into another story now, and let's get real specific, real clear, on what that is. It's you’re a-ha moment. It's an epiphany, an a-ha moment, that you've had at some point in your journey. So take us to that story, to one of your most special a-ha moments that you've had over the past number of years. Take us there, and share that story with Fire Nation.
Emily Filloramo: And that's, again, all about taking massive action because that's gonna lead you to those huge a-ha moments. And in 2013, when I coached my first guinea pig client as a Be More Extraordinary Magician, he released 30 pounds of emotional burdens in his first 2 hours of coaching with me. And the next day he said, "This is the first morning in my life that I actually woke up happy because you helped me to release the emotional ball and chain that I had been dragging around for 40 years. And the two hours I spent with you were more powerful than 20 years of psychotherapy."
So I was really high from the uncovering the magical powers that I had, and I knew at that moment that I found my soul's calling, and the true calling would have never been found had I not launched as a nutritionist first and experienced all the twists, turns, and failures. And because of this Skinny Pig client, I quit being a nutritionist and pivoted into becoming a Be More Extraordinary Magician.
And so this client continued to coach with me for another 20 hours, and he became the man that he has always dreamed of becoming. And as a result, he quickly became successful in his dream business, manifesting millions in revenue in his line of work, which rarely happens because only two percent of the people in his line of work actually achieve that kinda success in their first year.
And so this client, and a number of subsequent clients, said to me, "Emily, you must write a book. You're a magician. What you do is so powerful." And so in 2014, I wrote – in April of 2014 – I wrote in my journal that writing a book that year was a top priority. I had no idea how this was gonna be accomplished.
So 2 weeks after that journal entry, I was at a reception in New York City with 100 people I didn't know. A nosy stranger started chatting it up with me and kept asking me questions for the next 20 minutes grilling me about my work and my speaking platform, and he asked if I ever thought about writing a book about the model of healing that I'm trained in and how it can unleash people to the next level. I said, "Yeah. In fact, two weeks ago, I wrote in my journal that writing a book was a top priority, but I have no idea how I'm gonna go into a self-publish."
And he said, "Don't worry about it. You don't have to self-publish. I'm a publisher. I've been grilling for you the last 20 minutes because I'm fascinated with what you do. I would love to publish your book, and I'll take on all the risks. You don't need an agent. Just send me a book proposal, and I'll send you a contract."
And poof, like magic, I had a book deal. The universe had my back, and this was not an accidental meeting. I was guided to be at the right place at the right time.
John: And, Emily, I do wanna step in here because, man, this Fire Nation is so important, such a great point that I really wanna make sure that you, our listeners, take notice of. Put yourself out there. Put out your thoughts, your desires, your dreams, your hopes, into the universe, and see what comes back. You don't know what person's gonna know what person. You don't know the six degrees of separation that might just domino fall down to get you to where you need to be – at the right place at the right time.
I mean quick, quick side story. I've been thinking about doing some angel investing recently. I have no idea where to start from there. I'm on a plane ride next to this like 75-year-old man. I'm like, "I'm just gonna chat it up with this guy."
He ended up being one of the head guys of San Diego Angel Tech Stars, and I'm just like, "What?" And now, I'm invited to a dinner with him – this month, actually – and I'm gonna be sitting there with the San Diego Tech Stars learning about angel investing right here in San Diego. So put stuff out there. You honestly never, ever know what's gonna come from that. So, Emily, that's a great, great a-ha moment or great story, and I really want you to share with Fire Nation your one takeaway that you wanna make sure that we get as listeners.
Emily Filloramo: That success doesn't happen in a vacuum. Your energy is gonna determine if people want to become friends with you, to help you, and so improving your energy is an inside-out job. You have to work on yourself first if you want to achieve the success destination that you have plugged into your GPS.
John: Inside-out, Fire Nation. That's so true. I love how you put that. Emily, what is your biggest weakness as an entrepreneur?
Emily Filloramo: Well, let's see. I'm not crazy about blogging and writing since English is not my native language because I came here at the age of 9 without a word of English, so I can write when I need to. After all, I produced a book, but it's not my [inaudible] [00:15:34] genius. I'd rather be speaking and being in front of a camera.
John: Now, you really don't have much of an accent. How did you accomplish that?
Emily Filloramo: I think I got away with it because I came here before I turned 11 or 12 because I believe that's the age where it's harder to lose an accent, so I got away with it.
John: What is your biggest strength?
Emily Filloramo: I actually have two – my speaking skills and my networking skills. I'm very comfortable speaking in front of an audience. I recently spoke in front of 350 people at Awesomeness Fest in Costa Rica. And I also love meeting new people and love forming deep relationships, and both of those skill sets have certainly quantum-leaped my business.
John: Emily, you have a lot of things going on right now that you are fired up about. But what's the one thing that you has you most excited today?
Emily Filloramo: Just building out the Game Changer Network and Game Changer University with Martin Fox. And we launched, and we have executed our first steps with our founding members in Game Changer Network. You could to www.gamechangernetwork.com. We have a [inaudible] [00:16:37] with fun and adventurous visionaries, pioneers, and game-changers, living just their lives or purpose and passion and inspired action, and we also get to have massive amounts of fun and adventure.
And so at Game Changer University, which is coming soon, we're in the process of launching the educational platform, where we're gonna have cutting-edge business and personal development tools taught be the leading new economy experts so that you can thrive in all areas of your life. And so my programs, my virtual programs, experiential retreats, are gonna be accessible through my website and also through Game Changer University, which is launching soon.
John: Gamechangernetwork.com. Check it out, Fire Nation. And don't go anywhere because we have a lot of awesomeness coming up, but we're gonna take a quick minute to thank our sponsors. Emily, are you prepared for the lightning rounds?
Emily Filloramo: Yes, I am.
Emily Filloramo: What was holding you back from becoming an entrepreneur?
Emily Filloramo: A cushy, comfortable, corporate job with lots of benefits. I had no clue that I had the skill sets to be an entrepreneur.
John: What is the best advice you've ever received?
Emily Filloramo: For the month that I got my pink slip, with tears still rolling down my face, my money manager planted the seed in my ear and said, "Emily, you should be an entrepreneur. I know you will succeed for sure." So I am just eternally grateful to him because he saw something in me that I didn't even see in myself.
John: What's a personal habit that contributes to your success?
Emily Filloramo: I love the hot Bikram yoga, you know, all that sweating and releasing of the toxins. It gets me really centered, balanced, and energized to tackle my day.
John: Share an Internet resource, like an Evernotes, with Fire Nation.
Emily Filloramo: I recently discovered Toodledo to organize my to-do list. So far, I like it, and I also love using Coaches Console to keep track of my clients – taking notes, scheduling appointments, billing, coaching agreements. It's all in one place, and you could go to www.coachesconsole.com to find out more.
John: Emily, if you could recommend just one book for our listeners to join your book How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary on our bookshelves, what would that book be and why?
Emily Filloramo: It would be Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. You know, if you don't know how to win friends and influence people, your business is not going to thrive because you –
John: Hmm, so true.
Emily Filloramo: Yeah, because you really have to have the courage to "flirt" with guys and gals and make friends. I'm not saying you have to sleep with people. I'm talking about the friendly and playful parts of you come out and engage in a fun way. And after all, innocent flirting is what led me to a book deal, and it continues to help me form new relationships that are mutually beneficial.
John: Fire Nation, I know that you love audio, so I teamed with Audible. And if you haven't already, you can get an amazing audiobook for free at www.eofirebook.com. And, Emily, this is the last question of the lightning round, but it's a doozy. Imagine you woke up tomorrow morning in a brand-new world – identical to Earth, but you knew no one. You still have all the experience and knowledge you currently have. Your food and shelter's taken care of, but all you have is a laptop and $500.00. What would you do in the next seven days?
Emily Filloramo: So this new world is probably like Earth where just about everyone is burdened with the belief that, "I'm not enough." So I would send, with that $500.00, send a plane ticket for Oprah to come to this new world and lead an all-day workshop and what it takes to unburden from, "I'm not enough." She certainly has the clout to draw an audience, and I have a powerful message to share on how to manifest happiness and everything else that they want.
I'll use my laptop to create a video sales page with Oprah to market this life-changing event, and I'm gonna share how Internal Family Systems' brilliant model of psycho-spiritual healing and self-leadership is the key to transforming into a better leader, parent, lover, and friend.
John: Emily, let's end today on fire with you sharing a parting piece of guidance, the best way that we can connect with you, and then we'll say goodbye.
Emily Filloramo: I love what the law of magnetism says. It says you will not attract what you want into your life. You will attract who you are. Your energy and how you feel about yourself are reflected in your success or lack thereof. If you're already successful, take a look at the other areas of your life that you're not as successful with, and this will give you a clue as to the old emotional burdens that still need to be healed so you could soar in every area.
And once you transform and polish up the diamond of your best self and are madly in love with yourself in a non-narcissistic way, that's when you can transform your team, your organization, your industry. And finally, that's when you can make global and societal change and leave your legacy because the bigger you get, the louder the voices from the past can make you feel like an imposter and stop you from getting to the next level. And that's why you need to transform yourself first and foremost.
And as you love to say, John, you're the average of the five people you hang out with, and if you wanna be invited to hang out with better people, you have to not be afraid to outshine your current friends. You have to be courageous enough to be lonely for a while before you find your new tribe of bigger fishes that's gonna help you to grow to their size. And the energy of self-love and belief in you can manifest magic in business, relationships, health, and joy. And you're gonna soar when you show up as the most extraordinary version of you.
And so the best way to get a hold of me is my website – is www.bemoreextraordinary.com, and my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. And of course, there's the free download for you to get the steps to permanently erase negative self-talk at www.bemoreextraordinary.com/fire.
John: Fire Nation, Emily nailed it. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging with Emily and JLD today, so keep up the heat, and head over to www.eofire.com. Just type "Emily" in the search bar. Her show notes page will pop up with everything that we've talked about today. And of course, you can go directly to her website www.bemoreextraordinary.com.
Email her – email@example.com. And hey, we got the Fire Nation gift www.bemoreextraordinary.com/fire. This will all be linked up on the show notes page and of course her great book How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary – all linked up at www.eofire.com. Emily, thank you for sharing your journey with Fire Nation.
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