Happy New Year, Fire Nation!
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**You can reference the Facebook post discussed below here.
Ok, so this episode is going to be a little different…
It’s just going be me on the mic today, and we’re going to chat about a very important topic: haters.
Ten days ago, I had no idea I was going to be publishing this episode…
Something happened, and how I reacted to it has really impacted a lot of people in a very positive way. So I wanted to share it with you, my podcast listeners, too.
Here’s exactly what happened.
A few days before Christmas, I got an email. Not just any email – a doozy of an email. This email would leave me feeling a little dazed and confused… and it was from a straight up hater.
Now, I’ve gotten a few negative emails over the five years I’ve been doing Entrepreneurs On Fire, but this one was vicious.
I tried to shake it off, but by the next morning it was still affecting me way too much.
I had a quick moment of clarity: if I was being so adversely affected by one single hater email, others must feel similar when they get something similar.
I knew in that instant I had to go public with this in hopes of helping others deal with this crap if and when it happens.
I was nervous and embarrassed to post such a vicious attack, but I knew in my heart of hearts it had to be done.
So I posted the following to my Facebook page and sent an email to my list…
Sharing with Fire Nation
It was a punch in the gut.
When I got this email yesterday, the last thing I thought I’d be doing was sharing it with the world, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to.
Bullies are everywhere.
They try to build themselves up by tearing others down.
This ‘bully’ (read: coward) of course went the anonymous route through my ‘Contact Us’ form, and even pretended to be Tim Ferriss.
His words were incredibly vicious.
Honestly, they hurt.
Five years ago, this could have devastated me to the point of quitting.
But over the years, I’ve learned there will always be cowardly bullies that will snipe you from afar.
It’s sad, but true.
The bright side?
I PROMISE you there are 1000X more amazing people who will love, support, and be inspired by YOU being YOU.
Pat Flynn often talks about how six years ago, a bully almost stopped him from ever podcasting again. Think of all the amazingness we would have lost out on if that had happened?
Amy Porterfield recently shared why she struggles with live video.
In his most recent book, Lewis Howes shares the abuse he endured as a child.
Tim Ferriss (the real Tim – not the fake Tim) shares very openly about his struggle with depression on his Podcast and in his most recent (and amazing) Ted Talk.
I look up to these individuals.
I admire them.
When brutal things like this happen to me, I take strength from the strength they publicly display while handling their situations.
Fire Nation, I hope you take strength from how I handle this.
I’m going to continue being ME, with all the flaws and shortcomings that comes with.
I hope you to remember this post if something like this happens to you, and remember:
1. Yes, it hurts.
2. These bullies are just cowardly trolls who are trying to make themselves feel better by tearing down others.
3. You are amazing, and you are doing great things in this world.
4. Never stop being you.
5. Never stop being you!
6. Be you.
In full transparency, this is TOUGH to share. I had to remove a few sentences that were attacks against someone else and bleep out the swears, but besides that, this is word for word verbatim.
Subject: John “JLD” Is So Tacky
“JLD” Why is everything you do so cringe worthy?
From your fake enthusiasm, to your constant “JLD” references, to your oddly odd – very odd – making everyone pretend they are igniting?
Dude, enough already.
Ignite, ignite, ignite.
“Hey Tony Robbins are you prepared to ignite?” Its literally embarrassing to listen to.
I have no doubts if all of your “downloads” were actually counted – besides people wanting to podcast you would have literally no one interested at all.
Cough, why you stopped your download clock as you realized “Holy s*** – I have literally done thousands of these – and, if I add them all up – no one is even listening” EOFIRE number 5,222….
I have never heard anyone, besides a “podcaster”, say they actually listen to you.
Its perfect that you’ve now turned to the self help genre since you lied to everyone about “podcast riches” and now can be a poor mans T Robbins.
Wait, have I even mentioned you and your new fake hair? Holy s*** bro – you’re bald – get over it.
My Lord – it’s turned tacky. And, besides the fact you are boring as s***.
Ignite, Ignite, Ignite.
Annoying as F***, and fake JLD.
Once you pull back the fake new hair.
And annoying as shit voice.
And fake enthusiasm even Kate cant stand.
You are a-okay.
So again, I really had doubts about pushing publish on this post, but I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and published it…
Within minutes the comments started flying in.
People began sharing similar stories they had experienced, thinking they were alone, and how comforting it was to see that they weren’t.
Others were sharing how they were holding themselves back out of fear of this very thing happening to them, but said that by me sharing my attack and seeing the outpouring of love and support from all the amazing people out there is giving them the courage to push forward to share their voice, message, and mission with the world.
A lot of people were sharing their outrage at just the meanness of such an attack.
I had some really heavy hitters chime in on this, I’ll share a few now:
- Amy Porterfield: Such courage to post this. Sending you so much love, friend.
- Michael Hyatt: Hurt people hurt. He must have a pretty horrible, terrible story. I am so sorry JLD. Ugh.
- Lewis Howes: Weak people try to tear others down. Feel ya it can hurt as I feel the same way even when it’s much less than this. Stay true to your vision and know the only way to make an impact is to get others to pull you down. The most inspiring leaders in our history had half the world hating them. You are on the right track!
If you want to see the FB post in full, just visit EOFire.com/hater, and you’ll be directed right to it.
After a couple days engaging in the comments section with the amazing people who took the time to share their thoughts and feelings, I knew I had to send a follow up email to share some of the things I had been thinking about, and the things I had learned from others in the comments section.
My follow up email to Fire Nation
So, here it is: what I learned from the hate email…
A few days ago, I received a hate email (described fully in my previous email), and for about 12 hours it really took the wind out of my sails.
I read it about four hours before bed and went to sleep with a horrible pit in my stomach.
I woke up early, and as soon as the memory of the email re-surfaced, the horrible pit returned.
I knew this pit would lessen over the following days, but it frustrated me to the extreme that a single email could have this effect on me.
Over the last five years, I’ve received countless emails and messages expressing gratitude for helping inspire others on their journey.
So why was this ONE email rocking my world?
Two words: Human Nature.
As humans, we have an incredibly strong survival bias.
1,000 kind words are nice, but not a threat.
ONE harsh word is threatening.
Therefore, we FOCUS and AMPLIFY this one harsh word, as it could be dangerous.
Unfortunately, there is no solution for the above.
There is only acceptance.
That being said, I knew if MY world was being rocked by this single email, there were countless others vulnerable to attacks like these.
- I’m a combat vet (13 months in Iraq).
- I’ve built a successful business.
- I’ve failed countless times in life.
All of these life experiences have resulted in a thick skin.
And I was STILL hurting…
What about those whose skin wasn’t quite so tough?
How would they recover from an attack like I received?
Sadly, I knew many wouldn’t.
I knew this would shatter some, and result in them giving up on their dreams, hopes, and aspirations.
That was when I decided I HAD to go public with this.
As embarrassing as I knew it would be to share the hater’s words, I knew that this could be a shining light others could look back upon if/when they encounter a similar situation.
I want to turn this terrible moment in my life into a lesson to help others.
So I sat down, wrote an email and Facebook post, and very nervously pressed PUBLISH.
In all honesty, it is the best thing I’ve done in 2017.
The INCREDIBLE outpouring of love, encouragement and shared stories is incredible.
So many people sharing so much wisdom.
So many people sharing past hurts and FINALLY beginning the healing process.
So many people who were SCARED to put themselves out there because of this very thing, who are now finding the courage to do just that.
All I can say is WOW.
The Facebook post has over 660 comments and climbing, and there is SO much wisdom in those comments.
The email I sent has received over 1,000 replies.
Fire Nation, the tribe has spoken.
Haters can hurt us, but they will never beat us, because together we are strong, and together we will make this world a better place.
IGNITE! IGNITE! IGNITE! :-)
To check out the incredible conversation happening on Facebook and to add your thoughts, click here.
You are amazing.
Never forget that.
All in all, sharing this hater email was one of the best things I’ve done in 2017.
I was embarrassed to share it, and it put me way outside of my comfort zone, but if you listen to the podcast often, then you know I love referencing the saying: ALL the magic happens outside of your comfort zone.
Well, Fire Nation, coming together to share love, stories, fears and hopes on a Christmas week Facebook post was nothing short of magical.
I hope you got something out of this post, and if you’d like to add your thoughts – or simply see all the wonderful comments and stories on the FB post – visit EOFire.com/hater.
Lastly, as you look towards crushing 2018, your Freedom and/or Mastery Journal await to help you make it an amazing year!
Prepare to IGNITE!
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