From the archive: This episode was originally recorded and published in 2020. Our interviews on Entrepreneurs On Fire are meant to be evergreen, and we do our best to confirm that all offers and URL’s in these archive episodes are still relevant.
Jimmy Rex is an adventurer, entrepreneur, networker, and author of a new book “You End Up Where You’re Heading: the hidden dangers of living a safe life.”
Jimmy’s Instagram – Connect with Jimmy!
You End Up Where You’re Heading – Check out Jimmy’s site to stay up-to-date on his book launch date and pre-order availability!
3 Value Bombs
1) People choose to have a safe life because they feel comfortable with it; but you can expand your horizons and see the bigger world.
2) Human brains are wired to sense what is comfortable or what is uncomfortable; unfortunately, your brain does not know that society is safer now.
3) The true beauty of life is looking at yourself and going forward without expectations. Do whatever you want to do; you only get one life and it is your life. Take that unsafe path and explore your journey.
BELAY: If you’re looking for highly vetted, US-based fractional virtual contractors, then check out BELAY! Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation. Text FIRE to 55123 to get started!
HubSpot: HubSpot’s all-in-one CRM helps you automate tedious tasks, keep track of all your deals in one place, and make sure your whole team has access to the same data. Get started for free at HubSpot.com!
**Click the time stamp to jump directly to that point in the episode.
Today’s Audio MASTERCLASS: The Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life with Jimmy Rex
[1:47] – Jimmy shares something interesting about himself that most people do not know.
- He has diplomat status in Mexico.
[3:26] – What does “The hidden dangers of living a safe life” mean?
- In the past, when civilizations were just forming, the explorers had all the dangers and the settlers were safe .
- Nowadays, with social and technological advances, most of the dangers of the frontier were wiped out, but the danger is if you are the one who is staying in a safe place
- Addiction, Obesity, Heart Disease, Anxiety, Depression…
- The idea of the book is to show that you think living a safe life is building yourself in the small world – but the real beauty of life is getting out and exploring what is out there.
[6:09] – Why do people choose what they perceive to be the “safe” life?
- People choose to be in a safe life because they feel comfortable with it; but you can expand your horizons and see the bigger world.
- Jimmy shares his experience traveling the world. During his travels he saw the beauty in the other worlds that existed. He got to see different parts of life and culture.
- He realizes that once he got to know the things that he used to be uncomfortable with, discomfort vanished and was replaced with love.
[7:56] – JLD shares the travel experiences that brought him a new perspective.
[9:28] – In the book – Heroes’ Journey, where do most people get stuck?
- Human brains are wired to sense what is comfortable or what is uncomfortable; unfortunately, your brain does not know that society is safer now.
- Most people tend to focus on the wrong rather than the right.
- Your family and friends want you to be safe. It makes it harder for you to explore your path.
[12:05] – A timeout to thank our sponsor!
- BELAY: If you’re looking for highly vetted, US-based fractional virtual contractors, then check out BELAY! Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation. Text FIRE to 55123 to get started!
- HubSpot: HubSpot’s all-in-one CRM helps you automate tedious tasks, keep track of all your deals in one place, and make sure your whole team has access to the same data. Get started for free at HubSpot.com!
[15:05] – How can one find their mentor?
- Part of the Hero’s Journey is finding the people who will guide you on the path.
- A few keys to finding a good mentor:
- Be specific about what you are looking for in a mentor.
- Find somebody that you look up to.
- Find somebody who has similar traits and qualities as you
- Your perfect mentor is somebody who is currently where you want to be.
[20:15] – How do we know if we are on the wrong path?
- A lot of times you can be on the wrong path.
- You need to take a look at your entire life and feel whether you are in alignment with your true self.
- Sometimes you have to give up the good to get to the great.
[23:48] – Jimmy talks about “The Cave”.
- Eventually, you will have to face your inner battle. The Cave is a dark place where only you can enter. As an explorer, it is the hardest test you will face.
- “The saddest thing is having all the achievements without fulfillment.”
[29:44] – Jimmy’s parting piece of guidance.
- Too often in life you have expectations of what your life is supposed to be. And usually, those expectations are not your own. The true beauty of life is looking at yourself and going without expectations. Do whatever you want to do, you only get one life and it is your life. Take that unsafe path and explore your journey.
- Jimmy’s Instagram – Connect with Jimmy!
- You End Up Where You’re Heading – Check out Jimmy’s site to stay up-to-date on his book launch date and pre-order availability!
[32:26] – Thank you to our Sponsors!
- BELAY: If you’re looking for highly vetted, US-based fractional virtual contractors, then check out BELAY! Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation. Text FIRE to 55123 to get started!
- HubSpot: HubSpot’s all-in-one CRM helps you automate tedious tasks, keep track of all your deals in one place, and make sure your whole team has access to the same data. Get started for free at HubSpot.com!
Boom. Shake the room, Fire Nation, JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire, brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network with great shows like Duct Tape Marketing. Today we're pulling a timeless EOFire episode from the archive, so the giveaway may not be active, and we'll be talking about how you end up, where you're heading. The hidden dangers of living a safe life to drive these value bombs I brought Jimmy Rex into EOFire Studios. Jimmy is an adventurer, entrepreneur networker, an author of a book called You End Up, where you're heading The Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life Fire Nations. Today we'll be talking about how people choose to have a safe life because they feel comfortable with it, but you can expand your horizons and see a bigger world and how human brains are wired to sense what is comfortable and what is uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, your brain does not know that society is safer now and so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Jimmy and our sponsors. If you're looking for highly vetted US-based fractional virtual contractors, then check out Belay. Belay is exclusively offering Fire Nation their latest eBook Delegate to Elevate for free. Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation Text Fire, that's F I R E to 55123 to get started. Outbound Squad hosted by Jason Bay is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Tune in for convos with leading sales experts and top performing reps to help you land more meetings with your ideal clients.
0 (1m 28s):
One of my faves, The Monthly app with Jason Ethan, where they share hacks, tips and tricks. Listen to Outbound Squad, wherever you get your podcasts. Jimmy, say What's up to Fire Nation and share something interesting about yourself that most people don't know.
1 (1m 46s):
What's up, John? Well, one thing that's super interesting about myself and what's up Fire Nation is I actually have diplomat status in Mexico. Whoa. And yeah, that's something that, and I also have a doc, an honorary doctorate degree from 11 universities in Mexico. So I guess that's pretty interesting.
0 (2m 2s):
Now, does Mexico have non-tradition with the United States? Is that what you're getting to?
1 (2m 7s):
No, it's nothing to with that it, me and a couple buddies worked with a group for a while called Operation Underground Railroad. We'd go undercover in Mexico and help rescue kids that were being
0 (2m 17s):
Sex trapped. Right?
1 (2m 18s):
Yeah. And so they wanted to honor us and so we got this diplomat. It only works when we go to the airports in Mexico, but we get to skip the lines and stuff like that. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I like to say I'm a big deal down there. Not so much up here.
0 (2m 30s):
I'm not trying to push it though. But don't diplomats have non-tradition to the United States? I
1 (2m 36s):
Believe so. I've, I've said before to some people, I'm like, look, if we ever need to take sick care of somebody, we just gotta get 'em to Mexico. That's
0 (2m 42s):
What I'm saying. Right. Yeah. That's good to know, man. Cause it's not that hard to cross that border. That Rio Grande is not a formidable obstacle. But love the Underground Railroad. I know Russell Brunson talks about that all the time at, you know, ClickFunnels and funnel hacking live events and he's doing a lot of great stuff with that. It's an amazing cause. So thank you for what you do there. In Fire Nation, as you know, we're gonna be talking about the hidden dangers of living a safe life, because Jimmy's written a great new book called You End Up Where you're heading The Hidden Dangers of Living That Safe Life. And let's just kick it right off, Jimmy, because what do you mean exactly when you say there are hidden dangers of living a safe life?
0 (3m 22s):
I mean, don't we just wanna minimize our risk? What's to deal with
1 (3m 25s):
This? And that's what's kind of funny is in the past when, you know, civilizations were forming and everything else, the whole purpose was the explorers had all the danger. The people that went out and did those things, they left the sellers behind. The settlers job was to build walls to, you know, around those places that were already mapped out to kind of help make it predictable, eliminate surprises, destroy diversity, build walls, Fords, you know, till the fields reproduce all those things. And that was the safe life was to be the settler, all the explorers, I mean, even the good ones that we know about, you know, Marco Poll and others, I mean, they ended up getting killed on their explorations. But these settlers had kind of this safe life.
1 (4m 5s):
And unfortunately it's all kind of changed now. You know, with social and technological advances, we've wiped all most of the dangers of the frontier. I mean, calories are cheap, transportation's safe, it's fast, plagues minus the coronavirus is pretty much been eradicated, you know? But modern day explorers, they're the ones that get to venture out with the high degree. You know, they have a lot of uncertainty, but they kind of know they're gonna return in one piece. They, you know, there's, you're not worried about getting, having to sell the seas with UNM smooth waters. You're not having to worry about people thinking that you're doing witchcraft or hearsay and things like that. And so where the danger come in now is, you know, the reality is is if you're the person that's sitting and settling and you're just kind of staying in your safe place, you're gonna have a lot of harsh conditions coming out of that.
1 (4m 52s):
You're gonna have, you know, forms of addiction, obesity, burnout, heart disease, anxiety, depression, and for what? So you can, you know, maybe get a little bit bigger house, you can have a mediocre relationship comfort. So for the whole idea of the book, the whole idea of the, the title and everything else is we think that living a safe life is kind of camping in and, and kind of, you know, building ourselves into this is a small world, but the real value of the real beauty of life is getting out and, and exploring what's out there.
0 (5m 21s):
It is really interesting because when you think about it and you hear, you know, all those stories from the olden days, you hear that phrase over and over again that you can see who the pioneers are because they have the arrows in their back. You know, they're the people Yeah. That went like, we're going west, like we're going to the Pacific. And like you never heard from them again because they went out, you know, they went into Native American country or they just, you know, had exposure cuz of the rocky winters and all that different thing, all those different things. So, you know, it's really interesting to hear that things have flipped because you know, most people, they choose what they perceive to be this safe life. So beyond what you've already shared, cause you've already kind of shared a little overview of what that happens.
0 (6m 2s):
Let's, let's get into a couple specifics on why we as human beings do this and why maybe we shouldn't.
1 (6m 8s):
If you picture there's a map on a table and somebody's got their head over the map and they're looking at this map and they see that as their entire world and they think, okay, this is what I know, this is what I'm comfortable with, this is where I feel safe. But, and most people live their whole lives with that map zoomed in. But if you, somebody were to come up and go, Hey, pull the map back, pull your head back and you notice the map is a hundred times bigger than you ever thought. And this happened to me in my own life. You know, I was born to believe one thing and I lived that way for over 30 years and then all of a sudden I, you know, I had a couple life experiences. I started traveling the world and I got to go to over, I've been over 68 countries now. Wow. And with my travels, every single time I went, there was so much reward and there was so much joy, there was so much beauty in, in these other worlds that existed.
1 (6m 54s):
It was like, I got to see so many different parts of life and so many different, you know, cultures. And, and every time I went I learned other things and I started to realize that all these things I was uncomfortable with, once I got to know them, the discomfort went away and it actually became a much stronger love. So I'll give one example. I was in Egypt a couple years ago and a good friend of mine had invited me to go with him and he visiting his family in Egypt. And I always had this fear just being honest of, of Islamic people. And his family was there and they had this beautiful Islamic family, about 30 of them. And I was, when I first got there, was so uncomfortable. And then all of a sudden I saw the love and the way they took me and the true, his mom came up to me and she said, I've been worried about my son in the United States for 20 years and having met one of his best friends, all my fear has gone away.
1 (7m 42s):
I can see he has these beautiful friends. Wow. And it creates these atmospheres, it creates these experiences, these life experiences where you, you just truly get to step out of your old map and look at this new form of it. And it's so much more bigger and so much more beautiful.
0 (7m 55s):
Now, I had very similar experiences. I mean, I grew up in a very small town in Maine. I went to Providence College in Rhode Island, which is, you know, in New England. So I spent basically the first 22 years of my life, you know, in this very tiny corner of the United States, let alone the world. And then, yes, I did go into the army. So for four years I traveled a decent amount. But you know, I mean when you're in Iraq you're not necessarily, you're not necessarily seeing the country like, you know, mostly behind the wires except for these little forays were going out, you know, during my time in the army. But then I can remember so clearly is that while I was in law school and I made the decision to drop out, I was like, you know what? It's really time for me to get out and really spread these wings and really zoom my map out.
0 (8m 37s):
And that's when I went to India for the first time and I did a four month backpacking trip through India, through Nepal. And it brought this whole new perspective. And I'll tell you when it came back, it set the foundation of me eventually launching entrepreneurs on fire a couple of years later, which of course has now been rocking for eight years. So Fire Nation, if you get just trapped in that small map, like you're gonna have small expectations, you're gonna have small opportunities, you're gonna have small sites of what can actually happen to you in this world, when you zoom that map out, suddenly a lot more things become possible. And it's not always gonna come from the areas and directions you think, but that's the point of zooming that map out.
0 (9m 18s):
Now, Jimmy. Yeah, in your book you talk about the hero's journey. Where exactly do most people get stuck on this part of their journey?
1 (9m 28s):
For example, most people, it's not that they're not explorers, most people, they're just human, right? When an untraveled path shows up, fear and discomfort make appearances to stop you in your tracks. And so it's, you kinda got this one, two punch of survival that you know has worked for thousands of years. Our brains are literally wired to look for what is going wrong or what's uncomfortable, because that's how it kept us alive. But our brain unfortunately doesn't know that we've evolved into a much safer society in so many ways. And so it's always looking like that's why, you know, negative news catches the attention so much quicker than positive news. That's why most people tend to focus on what's going wrong in their right life and not right. You know, every guru or every motivational speaker will talk about gratitude because it's the only way you can retrain your brain to look for what's going right as opposed to what's going wrong.
1 (10m 17s):
Because it naturally wants to see what's going wrong. And so, I mean, you know, just thinking about something unpleasant can induce physiological feelings of pain inside of us. It's like why you say, you know, you die a million or die a hundred deaths or die a thousand deaths or whatever is because anytime you feel that pain of what you think could happen to you, you actually, your body experiences it as if it actually happened. And so, I don't know. So for me, that chapter, you know, that facing the frontier and a lot of times what happens unfortunately is our family and friends want us to be safe as well. They don't know that when they're trying to keep us safe, they're actually kind of screwing us over because they're gonna tell you to do the safe thing. They're gonna tell you to do the thing that makes them feel safe towards you and everything else. And so you see that all the time.
1 (10m 57s):
You hear people, everybody that's accomplished something, you know, the biggest naysayers are usually the ones closest to them. And that's why it's so much harder to actually break out of that frontier and go and and and explore your own
0 (11m 10s):
Path. Fire Nation, the key words I just wanna go back to is exploring your own path. This is your world. And I'm telling you over and over again, I've heard from so many of my past guests and from books that I've read, of people that are looking back over their journeys, the regrets that they have, the ones that lets other people influence their path. So it wasn't their own path, it was their mother who wanted to just brag to all of her friends that her son was in law school or that her daughter was in med school, or that, you know, the brother or the grandmothers or the family or the friend, whatever it was, it was them pushing their map, their path on other individuals that leads to nothing but regret.
0 (11m 53s):
Draw your own map, draw your own path, make that happen. And if you think Jimmy is even close to being done drop in value bombs, you have to wait until we get back from thanking our sponsors. No one accomplishes anything great alone, but perhaps you've experienced this too. Delegation in managing a team, especially a virtual team, can be the toughest thing you'll do as a business owner. Well, good news, if you're looking for highly vetted US-based fractional virtual contractors, then you've gotta check out Belay. No more throwing away your time on managing details, scheduling meetings, replying to emails and processing reports. If there are tasks and projects you're holding onto, it's time to delegate them so you can free up time to focus on the things only you can do.
0 (12m 34s):
Get out of the administrative weeds and back to growing your business. With Belay, they've been helping entrepreneurs scale and succeed for over a decade and can help you find highly qualified virtual assistants, bookkeepers, even social media managers. And to help you get started, Belay is exclusively offering Fire Nation their latest eBook delegate to Elevate for free. Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation. Text FIRE. That's F I R E to 55123 to get started. Tech is great, it can help us grow and scale our businesses in so many ways, but it can also be clunky, time-consuming to manage and expensive. That's why I'm excited to introduce you to HubSpot
0 (13m 17s):
CRM. The best platform to speed up your sales and scale your business without blowing your budgets. HubSpot's all in one CRM helps you automate tedious tasks, keep track of all your deals in one place, and make sure your whole team has access to the same data. No need to worry about the management and cost of a massive tech stack. HubSpot gives you everything you need all in one place. Plus, with fast activation, HubSpot makes it easy for the entire team to get up to speed, saving you precious time. And best of all you can try before you buy. No commitment, no hidden fees, not even a credit card is needed to sign up. Get started for free at hubspot.com. That's hubspot.com.
0 (13m 56s):
So, Jim, you were back and I have literally been pounding the drum for years now for people to invest in mentors. I mean, finding my mentor was a huge, massive part of my journey and a big reason why I was successful. I mean, my mentor was key, fundamentally key in me having a successful launch of the podcast in first few months running an actual entrepreneurial business. Talk to us, share with Firey Nation how we can find our mentor.
1 (14m 26s):
Yeah, and so this is one of the most important parts of the entire Explorer's journey. The heroes journey is you have to find people to guide you on the path. So for me, in my own life, for example, I've had seven or eight key mentors along the way. I'm a real estate guy, is where my background came from. You know, even every single part of my life I would search for these people that had been there before because they've been through the mountains, they've been down the valleys, they, they, they've been into the cave, they know how to go through these things. And so there's a couple keys to find mentors is number one. I think one of the most important things, cuz I get asked this a lot, I'll, I'll have people, you know, send me messages on Instagram or something like, Hey, I heard you speak about mentors and I want, I want you to mentor me. And it's like, okay, well there's a couple keys to having a good mentor.
1 (15m 8s):
Number one is you wanna be very specific of what you're looking for in a mentor. You want to find somebody that you look up to, not just because of what they're doing or where they're at, but because of the struggles they've been through their trials, how they overcame them. You also wanna find somebody that, that has similar traits and qualities to yourself. Figure out, you know, this is the key to the whole thing is I always say, if you wanna find a mentor, you've gotta figure out how to provide massive value for that person. And everybody needs something in their life, but people are busy. And so a lot of these guys that are mentors, so many people want to be mentors. But what you don't want is you, you want to know that your time spent with that person that you're mentoring is going to be a value. And so you want to see somebody that has enough desire, that has enough heart that's going to go outta their way to do the things you teach them in order to get that.
1 (15m 54s):
So one of my mentors is a guy by the name of Paul Hutchinson and when I first met this guy, he kind of tried to blow me off. I just, I met him, it was a networking group and this guy was just different than everyone else. And I just said, I don't know why, I don't know how, but I have to be, I have to know this guy. I want to be friends with this guy and I wanna learn from this guy. And sure enough, he was the one that ultimately led me to Tim Ballard in that group to work with them for a while. And, but when I first met Paul, he tried to blow me off and I knew I had to provide value for him. And so when he first tried to blow me off, I just, I just refused to go away. And, you know, he ended up inviting me to this sponsored dinner that was like quite a bit of money and I, I, I did it and then I brought my most amazing friends that I could find and then, you know, we create, we created a fun atmosphere and then all of a sudden he's like, all right, let's go to launch.
1 (16m 37s):
And then he explained, he said, well, here's a couple things other people are doing. I did 'em all and I just kept going back and he came back later, we ended up becoming, he's one of my closest friends in the world now and he's mentored me for years. And I've literally met more people and had more experiences of life through this human than probably any other two, three people I've met in my life. And he said to me later, he said, Jimmy, the reason why I finally like you basically got in and me and you became so close, he said, every single time I ask you to do something, you overdid it, you did it, whatever I ask. And then ek, he goes, you have no idea how you unique it is to just show up and do what you say you're going to do. He said, in my life, I'm so busy and I need people all the time for different things. And he goes, the value of having somebody that I can a hundred percent count on, that was the biggest difference for me.
1 (17m 22s):
And I knew I wanted to be friends with you as well. And so anyway, that's just one example. But too often you see people, they wanna be mentored, they wanna do things, but they kind of, they're trying to get from that person right away. And the mentor, the whole fun of being a mentor is to be able to share with that person and know that you're making a difference and knowing that they really appreciate it. So you just wanna show appreciation to whoever that mentor is and you know, it's not sufficient. I mean, I'll have people that hit me up on Instagram, they're like, dude, I want you to mentor me. They're not even following me yet. You know, you're like, dude, you, you, you're not actually putting any effort into doing this. And so it should be, you know, you wanna pick those key people in your life cuz if you have the right mentor, it truly will change everything for you. I know in real estate, when I first got in, it did the same thing.
1 (18m 3s):
I I, I was lucky enough, you know, my second year in real estate I was only 24 years old and, and I ended up selling 98 homes. Wow. And so I kind of got the opportunity to be on some stages and talk about a lot of things. What I was doing well, I got taken under the wing of the three top real estate coaches in the entire industry. Mike Ferry, Tom Ferry, and a guy named Bill Pipes. And they personally coached me and the opportunity that that gave me, I honored that so much. Nobody worked harder and nobody was, you know, more grateful for that. And so by working with those amazing mentors, I was able to soak up 20 years of information in less than two. And that is kind of what exploded my entire
0 (18m 37s):
Career. One thing I've always said, Fire Nation is your perfect mentor is somebody who is currently where you want to be. So think about those words. Your perfect mentor is somebody who's currently where you want to be. Now what do I mean by that? Well, listen, so many people are saying, Hey, oh, Richard Branson would be my perfect mentor. Like if he would just mentor me, life would be perfect. Well, do you wanna run a record company or do you wanna actually run an airline? If the answer is no, then believe me, Richard Branson is not the perfect mentor. If you wanna launch a podcast, guess what? That dude is not gonna be able to help you launch a podcast. He doesn't have the knowledge, the skills, the experience, and he shouldn't because if he ever wanna launch a podcast, he would just turn a microphone on and he'd let his team do the rest of the stuff.
0 (19m 18s):
And that's fine and that's cool. He's Richard Branson. You need to find somebody who is currently where you want to be. They're gonna be able to guide you on that journey. Now let's call a spade a spade Jimmy. I mean, sometimes we take a wrong turn in life. How do we know if we're on the wrong path?
1 (19m 36s):
One of my favorite questions is, you know, how do you know where you're at on the path or if you're on the wrong path? Completely. And I think it's a little bit trickier than people think because a lot of times you can be on the wrong path but you kind of feel like you still have some things going on correctly. You can, you can be, you know, you can be happy and be on the wrong path. You can be successful in areas of your life and be on the wrong path. You can be in love and still be on the wrong path. What you gotta do is kind of take a look of your entire life and just really try to feel if you're in alignment with your true self. And we, if we stop, and this is why it's so important to take time, we talk about, you know, meditation and exploration by yourself and really spending that time with yourself. We live in a world that's so busy now, that's one of the gifts of the coronavirus is that it gives us this opportunity to slow down and actually look at our lives and go, what are we doing that is truly in alignment and where do I feel a little bit off?
1 (20m 26s):
And it's the first time that I can ever remember, I know I'm a high achiever and so for me it's the first time in my life I can literally take time and do nothing to think about these things and not feel like I'm being left behind, not have any, you know, fear that I'm missing out on stuff. And so it's been a real gift for me that I, even, even myself as I've, you know, this book's gonna be coming out in a couple months and I'm the one that wrote it and I still was on the wrong path and a part of my life I was started doing a lot of real estate coaching and I didn't, I realized I've never wanted to be a real estate coach. That's not something I desire to do. And I've got all these courses that have done all these things and I'm like, but it wasn't truly authentic to where I wanted to be. And I, it took this slowdown just the last couple weeks for me to realize, oh my gosh, this is not fulfilling me.
1 (21m 7s):
This is not ever, I just was really good at real estate. So I figured that was the most obvious thing to start coaching other people on. But I actually have all these other areas of life that light me up that I, the true stuff is like what my book is all about. Like truly getting your inner path and, and and you know, going into the cave and doing these things. And, and so for me, I just had to drop it all. I told my marketing guy, I was like, Hey, we're done with all the real estate coaching. He's like, what are you talking about? This is everything we've been pushing. I said, doesn't matter cuz it's not my true path. And so it it, but it takes that strength to really go, okay, like even though I've got all this effort over here, if that's not authentically what I wanna do, and so many people in their life, they feel stuck cuz they've put so much effort into something. We do this a lot with romantic relationships, right?
1 (21m 49s):
It's, it's very difficult to leave it because you've built so much up. You know, you have all these memories, you have those experiences, but so many people realize they're in the wrong relationship, but yet they're like, this is the safe path, this is the safer play. And it's truly not. But it feels like it is. You're really keeping yourself from a lot of passion, joy, and happiness that are waiting for you on the other side, if you actually are willing to, you know, go down the, the scarier the scarier trail.
0 (22m 14s):
So if I had to sum up what Jimmy just shared, Fire Nation, sometimes you have to give up the good to get to the great cuz listen, a lot of you are really good at things. You're comfortable. Jimmy was good at real estate. He sold 98 homes in his rookie year. I mean, he's been good at it for a long time. It's in his comfort zone. People look up and they respect him in that area. And there's things that you probably do. Fire Nation, that's the exact same thing, but guess what that good is holding you back from the greats. All the magic in your world happens outside of your comfort zone. So if you're not getting outside of that comfort zone Fire Nation, you're not getting to that true magic. So we have to really end on a very serious note, Jimmy, because there is a part of this journey that we have to do alone.
0 (23m 1s):
And I love how you go into your description of the cave. So tell us about the cave. How do we survive the cave?
1 (23m 8s):
Essentially the best way to look at it's eventually you're gonna have to come face to face with your own inner battle. And this is a dark place that only you can enter. That's the cave, right? There's no guide can go in there with you. No ally can stand up there or, or take your place. Every person has to go in their own way and and, and go into the depths of what is the cave. And, and so a lot of people are just never willing to go there, to be honest. But if you're willing to go in, it is the hardest test we face as an explorer because you're gonna go up against a foe who knows all your weaknesses, knows all your fears, knows all your secret shame, the things you've never spoken about, you know, you're gonna be groping around in the, the darkness and the, and everything. And guess what? It's all you, you are the person you have to face in that moment.
1 (23m 51s):
And so you kind of realize that, you know, the real you isn't strong enough, isn't smart enough, you're not deserving enough. But then you go into the cave and you have to figure that out. You take the mask off and you just start staring back at yourself and, and the whole person that you are. And so it, it's a beautiful example of really going in and and going after the thing that we are most afraid of, which is facing ourself. And when you go in there, you know you're gonna be, you're gonna be packed with anger and shame and judgment and all that. But as you come out, you know, you can't go over the cave. You can't go under a cave. That's kind of the, the allegory of the cave is you have to go into it. And when you go in there and you face those things, you face those demons, you face your shame, you face your insecurities.
1 (24m 34s):
It's really a beautiful thing. I I started doing that a couple years ago and I can't tell you the things that came up for me that I didn't even realize were there. But you touched these parts of yourself where, you know, this, these insecurities or these things that happen to you and your youth. I'll give one quick example for me is I've always, you know, we talk about Tony Robbins talks about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment, right? And he says that the saddest thing is somebody who has all the achievements without any of the fulfillment. And for myself, I was achiever always like, boom, hit this goal, go to the next, hit this goal, go to the next one. I gotta go to every country. I've gotta do this. And I've always been an achiever, all this stuff. And you know, people all the time that loved me would try to kind of tell 'em like, Hey, are you, are you taking the time to, to really appreciate this?
1 (25m 16s):
Are you taking the time to really enjoy all this? And I had an experience just in December and I, I, so one of my life goals, I had these 10 huge life goals and one of 'em was to take my entire family on a dream vacation. And my time with family's big. I mean we, I have six siblings and 25 nieces and nephews and so there's 38 of us just in my immediate family to include in-laws my brother and sister-in-laws. And my big goal was to take everybody on a dream vacation. Well, I had done very well on an investment that I made, cashed a little bit of money out. So I took all 38 of us paid for everybody to go to on this Disney cruise to The Bahamas in December. And good timing, it turns out. But, but when I was there and I loved it, it was everybody had the best time, but I didn't truly get to soak it all in.
1 (25m 59s):
I was worried about what I was gonna do next and what meant, what it meant after this and all these different things. And it hit me about a month later, I was like, man, I didn't really soak it. And that was a lifetime award, that was a lifetime goal I had. And everybody else had the time in their lives, but I didn't truly get to enjoy it as much as I wanted to. And so I started really looking at, and my life coach asked me a question, and I've never, this was kind of me going into the cave for the last few months, I've had to figure this out. She said, Jimmy, why do you feel like you always have to be achieving? Like why can't, why do you have to be exceptional? And I was like, what do you mean? Why do I have to be exceptional? Of course I have to be exceptional. Everybody has to be exceptional. She's like, no, a lot of people don't feel that way. They're just fulfilled just living their life in beauty. And I was like, wow, that's something to consider. I'd never even thought of the idea.
1 (26m 39s):
And what it comes down to is when I, I was able to really dig into this and, and just work on this. And when I was a little kid, I was 14 years old. I mean, baseball was my life and everything I did was baseball oriented. My brother was the state mvp, my brother played college at the university. Everybody was, you know, I mean that was our family. And I remember when I was 14 years old, I'd been on the All Stars every year, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. And when I was 14 years old, we were having this year end ceremony and there was like an amphitheater with all the families there. And all of our buddies were sitting together on like the second row, the 15 of us that were always all stars. And one by one they would call the all Stars up to get their TRO and come on the field. And what I realized when there was about four of us left is there was only three trophies and the other three guys were definitely gonna make the team.
1 (27m 22s):
I end up sitting there by myself as one by one. My friends all got called up, they were gonna be hanging out all summer. And I got left by myself sitting there and I remember I was so sad, I just started to cry and I was like, I've never felt so bad in my entire life. And in that moment I said to myself, I said, Jimmy, you didn't work hard enough. And I said, I will never be outwork again because I didn't work hard enough. I will never be left out again. And I became in that moment, this weird achiever that like had to accomplish things. And it's not bad to be an achiever, but it is if you're doing it out of a place of fear being left. And so what I had to do is go back and find that little boy and let him know, you know, that he was okay and kind of work through that. And that was me going into the cave where now I'm trying to step back from all these things that I have to do or I have to achieve again, a blessing that's come from the coronavirus because there's nothing to go do right now basically.
1 (28m 12s):
But, and long story short, it's really helped me to try to get to a place where I can achieve from a place of love or want as opposed to fear or anxiety of being left behind. And so that's allowing me to have a much more fulfilled life just in the last couple months. That's an example of me cuz what, it's not like you go in the cave once and you figure out your life, but that is a moment where I had to go into the cave, feel that fear, that feel that fear, figure it out, and then come back out of that to go. And that's the beauty of the hero's journey is once you get to the all the way done, you just go on another journey and you, you keep up, up-leveling your life in every single way.
0 (28m 46s):
Fire Nation, embrace the cave, embrace the journey. And Jimmy, you have shared so many value bombs today. Give us one key takeaway, the one value bomb you really wanna make sure that we walk away with. And then give us a call to action for how we can follow you, learn more about you and then we'll say goodbye.
1 (29m 4s):
Absolutely. So if I could encourage people to do one thing, like if they're, you know, because again, the book itself, I cover all these different stories of people that I've had on my podcast, you've been on my podcast, all these different people that have experienced in one way or another, you know, the heroes journey or, or living the unsafe, you know, quote unquote the hidden dangers of the safe life going the other route. But what I would tell people is too often in life we have expectations of what our life is supposed to be. And usually, those expectations aren't even our own expectations or expectations. And you kind of touched on this a little bit of our family or our parents or of people that know us, but truly the honor of life, the most beautiful part of life is truly looking at yourself and going without expectations of what this is supposed to be.
1 (29m 50s):
What do I truly want to do with myself? What if everything else was taken aside? I was talking to a 19-year-old kid just the other day and, and he was talking about his dad wanting to do all these things, but he doesn't want, and he told me what he wanted to do. I said, dude, for what it's worth, permission to just do whatever you want to do. Whatever feels authentic, you need to go that route because you don't wanna look back on your life and have regret because you did what your church told you or what your parents told you. You get to decide ultimately you only get one life, it's your life or at least one to do this way and your life is yours to live. So, you have the courage to truly take that un what feels like that unsafe path and explore your own journey. And then also you can find me on Instagram is Mr.
1 (30m 30s):
Jimmy Rex, J I M M Y R E X, or just Google me Jimmy Rex and I'm on, you know, YouTube, all the different platforms, but Mr. Jimmy Rex on Instagram and I try to get back to everybody. I, the book will be out about two months, but until then I love to share a lot of information and things like
0 (30m 45s):
That. Well, what's the date? The book's coming out?
1 (30m 46s):
We finalized the date probably the next week or, but it's, it'll be before the end of June. It'll be out for sure. And again, it's called You End Up Where You're Heading the Hidden Path, the Excuse, the Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life.
0 (30m 58s):
Awesome. Well, this is going live on June 29th.
1 (31m 1s):
Oh, it'll probably be exactly right.
0 (31m 3s):
There. I mean this is gonna be perfect. So, Fire Nation, go check it out, see if you can find that book. And where can they go specifically Jimmy, if they wanna see if this book is available.
1 (31m 11s):
Yeah, we're gonna be on Amazon. We also have the website, the Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life. And we also have the website you end up where you're heading. So they can go to either of those two websites or to Amazon and just put in my name, Jimmy or X.
0 (31m 24s):
Awesome. Well, Fire Nation, good timing. Hopefully that book is ready. And you know this, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging out with JR and JL D today. So, keep up the heat and if you head over to eofire.com and type Jimmy in the search bar, the show notes page will pop up with everything that we've been talking about today. Best show notes in the biz, timestamps, links galore, and of course make sure you're following Jimmy on Instagram, Mr. Jimmy Rex. So, Jimmy, thank you so much for sharing your truth, your knowledge, and your value with Fire Nation today. For that we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side.
1 (32m 3s):
Thanks John, appreciate you so much.
0 (32m 5s):
Hey, Fire Nation, today's value Bomb content was brought to you by Jimmy and if you've had your big idea, you would be ready to ignite. My free training will get you to your big idea Fire Nation in less than an hour. That's less than 60 minutes. Visit your big idea.io, visit today and I'll catch you there. Fire Nation, or I'll catch you on the flippity flip side. If you're looking for highly vetted US-based fractional virtual contractors, then check out Belay. Belay is exclusively offering Fire Nation their latest eBook delegate to Elevate for free. Learn how to reclaim your time and save 15 hours per week by mastering the powerful tool of delegation. Text fire,
0 (32m 47s):
that's F I R E to 55123 to get started. Outbound Squad hosted by Jason Bay is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Tune in for convos with leading sales experts and top performing reps to help you land more meetings with your ideal clients. One of my faves, The Monthly app with Jason Ethan, where they share hacks, tips and tricks. Listen to Outbound Squad wherever you get your podcasts.
1) The Common Path to Uncommon Success: JLD’s 1st traditionally published book! Over 3000 interviews with the world’s most successful Entrepreneurs compiled into a 17-step roadmap to financial freedom and fulfillment!
2) Free Podcast Course: Learn from JLD how to create and launch your podcast!
3) Podcasters’ Paradise: The #1 podcasting community in the world!