Marianne Williamson once said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
It’s pretty crazy to think our mind has this much power over us – that if our mind tells us we should be hesitant about stepping into the light and embracing what it means to us, as individuals, to be successful, we actually listen.
She continues to say, “We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? … Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine… It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.”
But being confident; stepping into the light; making decisions – both big and small – that will not only affect us, but also those around us; and having the courage to stand up to the fears we feel on a daily basis as entrepreneurs is not easy.
If it were easy, everyone would be confident, courageous and successful.
The victim role and limiting beliefs
In December 2013 I attended a 3-day basic training course.
I had been on the EOFire team for eight months.
I attended the course because I was told it would help me uncover my passions and break through my limiting beliefs – that it would help me start living the exact life I wanted to live without apologies.
I wasn’t really sure what limiting beliefs were, or how (and to what degree) they may have been affecting my ability to step into my light, but what I did know is that when asked by a friend what I was most passionate about just days earlier, I had a hard time answering.
I didn’t know what I was passionate about – I actually found myself questioning if I was passionate about anything.
That’s not how I wanted to live my life, so with shaking hands and sweat gathering around my hair line, I took action and signed up for the training.
Those 3 days changed my life.
My two biggest takeaways from basic were that:
- I was living my life as a victim; and
- We get back what we put out into the world.
Marianne Williamson ends the quote I started this post with by saying, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Walking through life invisible
In February 2014 I attended another 3-day training – this time the advanced training.
Since basic, I’d been working on realizing and acknowledging when I was playing the victim role. Now that I knew what it was and why I was doing it, I could start to shift my energy and mindset – my attitude around responsibility and what I was putting out into the world.
I was feeling really great, and I could tell by just acknowledging it and stepping out of that role when I felt myself slipping into it that other positive things were happening as a result.
I no longer allowed my mind to trick me, nor did I accepted phrases from myself like:
“But it wasn’t my fault”, or “That happened because of circumstance out of my control”, or “I don’t know the answer” or, “This happened to me, and I’m sad / mad about it – it ruined my day.”
Instead, I took ownership and responsibility for my actions and the outcomes those actions created. I stopped blaming others for how I was feeling, what I was (or wasn’t) doing, and for how I felt throughout – and at the end – of every day.
Then, during my advanced training, I had my break through.
During advanced, I discovered something about myself that went far deeper than playing the victim role.
I discovered that I was walking through life invisible.
I discovered this when I found myself alone in the middle of a dark room, sinking. No life preserver – just one hundred people standing around me and not one of them holding out a hand to help.
Letting your light shine
I can’t possibly describe the feeling I had sitting alone in the middle of that room.
Knowing what I know now, what I can describe are all the reasons why I found myself there:
- I was afraid of being wrong
- I was afraid of looking stupid
- I was afraid of others judging me
- I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough / smart enough / strong enough
- I was afraid to make big decisions where I didn’t know the outcome
- I was afraid of feeling uncomfortable
- I was afraid of being in charge / taking responsibility
- I was afraid of coming across as a know-it-all
That is a lot of fear to discover all at once.
That is a lot of fear for anyone to hold on their shoulders.
I know from experience that type of fear will kill your light and keep you feeling trapped in the dark.
I know from experience that type of fear will make you invisible.
Mindset and embracing fear
You’ve probably heard a lot of the same things I’ve mentioned here in this post in your own mind and experienced limiting beliefs, fear and the imposter syndrome many more times than you can count. I know I’m not alone in sharing these fears with you.
The feeling that comes up every time we’re about to do something big – important – life-changing – new…
The feeling that comes to us when the risk is high, and we don’t know the outcome – we’re feeling uncomfortable, and we’re not sure what other people are going to say about the decision we’re about to make.
And all the while, we wonder if it’ll ever be possible to believe anything else but that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, passionate enough – anything enough – when we continue to feel as though we’re in a constant battle with our mind over fear.
The answer is so simplistic and straight forward, and it’s within all of us.
Just as is the case with freedom, YOU get to choose.
You get to choose
Tony Robbins says, “Our beliefs are like unquestioned commands, telling us how things are, what’s possible and impossible and what we can and cannot do. They shape every action, every thought and every feeling that we experience. As a result, changing our belief systems is central to making any real and lasting change in our lives.”
Change your belief system, and you will change your life.
For some, this means practicing affirmations. Hal Elrod is a huge fan of this, and one he’s shared with me before is this:
“I am just as worthy, deserving and capable of achieving extraordinary success as any other person on the planet, and I will prove that today with my actions.”
When asked on EOFire Episode 1473 what the best advice he’s ever received is, Andy Andrews said: “You have been created with a will that is stronger than your emotions. No matter how you feel you can choose how you act.”
Grant Cardone writes in his book The 10x Rule: “Fear, for the most part, is provoked by emotions, not rational thinking. And in my humble estimation, emotions are wildly overrated – and the scapegoat many people use for their failure to act… it must become your indicator to go.”
Amanda Holmes shared the best piece of advice she’s ever received on EOFire Episode 1475: “When you live in honesty and truth there’s nothing to fear.”
The things you think about turn into what you talk about.
What you talk about turns into what you do.
What you do turns into what you are.
You will continue to feel fear on your journey, and mindset struggles, while they can and will become easier to experience, will always be there. Stop trying to get rid of fear, and instead, embrace it.
Embrace that you’re on a journey that most people never even start. You’ve already embraced a HUGE fear on your journey: taking your entrepreneurial leap.
Continue to embrace fear knowing that fear let’s us know we’re on the right path – that we’re continuing to work towards things that matter to us – things that are bringing us one step closer to freedom.
Up next in Season 4 on What it means to be an entrepreneur
We all know that entrepreneurship isn’t easy.
If you’re looking for something easy, just go ahead and continue doing whatever makes you feel most comfortable.
Up next, we’re going to be talking about redefining and celebrating success as an entrepreneur.
You can visit our home base right here to find all the posts and episodes in Season 4!